Trying To Lose Weight Sucks

This whole trying-to-lose-weight thing really sucks. Although I've already lost 20 pounds (and by "already," I mean since this time last year), I feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall. It's so

You gotta exercise all the time. And watch what you eat. You gotta get on the scale once in a while and hope it tells you what you want to hear, otherwise you have to throw it through a window (I've gone through a couple of scales....and windows......this way). It's all just so overwhelming.

I wish there were magic weight loss pills that you could take at bedtime, that overnight would transform you from a big, fat cow into a svelte beauty without any more effort than swallowing a glass of water. Why hasn't something like that not been invented? It's a fairly simple concept. I should invent something like this. Can you imagine how rich I'd be?

As I type this, my treadmill is goading me. I can hear it calling to me, saying things like, "Shawn, you're fat. You haven't been on me in over a week. What are you waiting for? Magic pills?"

I hate that treadmill, I really do.