The Shower, the Smoke Alarm, and the Dog Poo

Warning: This story has the potential to be rather long. If you have to pee or need a smoke, do it now. Everything you are about to read is true. No names have been changed to protect the innocent. It could get graphic, just as it did when it happened.

Picture it (or not if you prefer to keep your sanity): I'm in the upstairs bathroom taking a shower. Keep in mind that I had just replaced the batteries in the smoke alarm right outside the bathroom door. This is important and will come into play in just a few minutes. Said smoke alarm is placed where recommended right at the top of the stairs......and so is the bathroom.

I decided to let the bathroom door open a bit so the steam could escape. Why not? I was the only one home and I hate trying to get dressed while still damp from the steam. There is no exhaust fan in this bathroom (although I keep saying there SHOULD be), and the vicious circle of drying off and remaining wet drives me bonkers!

Anyway....

I'm in the shower, a nice hot shower mind you, and the smoke alarm starts going off. Curses! I try to ignore it, but you know how they are; piercing, screeching things that threaten to blow your eardrums out if you don't shut them up, or flee from the house with your hair on fire. So, after a few minutes of this, I can't take it anymore and I get out of the shower, soapy and dripping wet, to go fan it. I grab my shirt that I'm going to put on after I finish showering and begin to fan the alarm.

Nothing happens. It keeps going off! I'm too short, or the ceiling is too high for me to reach it to rip it off....err......I mean, nicely take the battery out, so I decide to just ignore it some more. I close the bathroom door and get back in the shower thinking that surely it would shut up now since I shut the door.

Wrong.

The dog begins howling. Have you ever heard a black lab howl? It's dreadful. It sounds like someone is ripping his toenails out, one by one. I can't take this even more than I can't take the smoke alarm, so I get out of the shower once again. I go down the hall to the kids' bedrooms searching for something long enough to push the button to make it stop. I find a music stand.

I go back to the smoke alarm, which shows no signs of losing power any time soon, and push the button. The alarm, and the dog, silence.

For just a moment. As soon as I let go of the button, it comes back on! I push it again. Silence. I release it. Chaos. Every time I silence the alarm and then release the button, my dog stops and starts howling. It's rather funny now, but not so much at the time.

There I am, naked, dripping, cold, and pissed off. I'm standing at the top of the stairs poking at the ceiling with a music stand, to no avail. My hair still has soap in it and I'm sure the hot water is running out. I give up and get back in the shower, making sure to give the ole' bird to the smoke alarm on my way back in. The dog would just have to fend for himself.

Before I finish in the shower, the dog stops howling.........a full 3 minutes before the smoke alarm stops...on its own.

Finally.

I get dried off (sort of), get dressed, and go downstairs. A smell hits me about halfway down.

What IS that smell?

I turn the corner to find that my dog, bless his heart (insert curse word here), in his fear, had pooped in the middle of the kitchen floor. The smoke alarm had literally scared the s**t out of him! I found him cowering in the corner of the living room. I'm not sure if he was cowering in fear of the smoke alarm or me. Either way, I was finding it hard to feel sorry for him after the ordeal I'd just been through.

I put him outside ( pointless and too much after the fact, I know) and cleaned up the mess. When he came back in, he walked slouched and low to the ground. He kept looking toward the stairs, so I'm guessing it wasn't me he was afraid of. He went back to his corner in the living room, and that's where he is now.

Do things like this really happen in real life? In my case, it sure did. Just as I described. Believe it or not. It's up to you.